FRIENDSHIP

We have all heard of people who have not spoken to an old friend or family member for so many years that they have forgotten how the fight started in the first place. When friendships seem impossible to mend, we need more than conflict resolution skills. If you wish you could push a reset button and start all over in one of your friendships, this lesson is for you. Though you cannot change the past, you can make a fresh start. In this lesson you will discover from Scripture how to restore broken friendships.

Starter

1. What are some of the reasons people use to justify holding a grudge against a friend?

2. Why is it so difficult to admit when we are wrong and ask for forgiveness from a friend?

Study

Read the following sets of Bible passages and application notes. Answer the questions for each set before moving on to the next.

Philemon 1:10-11, 17-21

From his prison cell, Paul had led Onesimus to the Lord. Paul then asked Philemon to forgive Onesimus, his runaway slave, and to accept him as a brother. Even though Philemon had the legal right to kill Onesimus, Paul encouraged Philemon to put aside his own rights for the sake of Onesimus, his new brother in Christ. At times, we must also put aside our own rights for the sake of our friends, even when we think we deserve better from them.

3. In light of this story, what responsibility do we have to help our friends be reconciled to others with whom they have had conflicts?

4. When has someone encouraged or helped you restore a broken friendship?

5. What does it take to reestablish trust with someone who has made a major mistake or betrayed you in some way?

6. What can you do if you feel it is impossible to forgive a friend?

Matthew 6:14-15

It is easy to ask God for forgiveness, but it is often difficult to grant it to a friend who has deeply hurt us. But having received forgiveness from God, we should want to pass it on to others. We, however, must rely on the Holy Spirit to help us forgive our friends, even when we may not feel like it or believe they do not deserve it. Remember, forgiveness is more an action than a feeling.

7. What does our unwillingness to forgive a friend reveal about us?

8. How have your disputes with your friends impacted your relationship with God?

9. What is keeping you from offering forgiveness to a friend?

10. How does this passage challenge you to change your attitude or actions?

Proverbs 10:12; 17:9

Scripture encourages us to willingly forgive others who sin against us. Covering over offenses is necessary to any friendship. It is tempting, especially in an argument, to bring up all the mistakes the other person has ever made. A true friend, however, keeps his or her mouth shut - difficult though that may be. Try never to bring anything into an argument that is unrelated to the topic being discussed. As we grow to be like Christ, we will acquire God's ability to forgive and forget the confessed sins of the past.

11. What motivates us to remind our friends of their past mistakes?

12. How do we rationalize bringing up the past when we argue with a friend?

13. Why is it so difficult to forgive and forget?

14. How do you want to respond the next time a friend lets you down?

Summary

All of our friends will let us down - some more than others. But instead of allowing our disappointment to destroy friendships, Scripture tells us to forgive. To bring healing to a broken relationship, you have to lay aside your own rights and resist the temptation to bring up past mistakes. God can help you be a genuine friend - that is, someone who brings love, acceptance, understanding, and forgiveness to friendships. Do not let your disappointment in your friends' shortcomings rob you of their friendship.

15. Which friend are you struggling to forgive right now?

16. In what tangible way could you demonstrate God's love and forgiveness to this friend?