National Marriage Week Feburay 7-14

Marriage Week is a creative campaign that occurs during the Valentine's Day holiday in an attempt to deepen and extend this day in the minds of couples. Instead of greeting card sentiments and candy hearts, couples are encouraged to take advantage of opportunities for honest relationship validation and enrichment.

Realistic Expectations

No matter how wonderful and flawless your mate seems, no one is perfect. Be careful about putting someone on a pedestal, especially in the early stages of your relationship. Make sure that the expectations you have for your mate and yourself are realistic. There are going to be differences in opinion, and probably some disagreements.

Also, do not assume that your mate knows how you feel or what you think about something. When discussing something important to you, ensure that you both understand the same thing. The reality is that neither one of you is going to know exactly what the other one needs. As long as you do not expect them to read your mind and accept that this is a part of getting to know one another and communicating, you will be fine.

Three Questions to Ask Your Spouse. They'll open doors for better communication and a stronger relationship.

1. Is there anything that I need to apologize for? (i.e. Did I do anything that hurt you?)

2. Is there anything you need from me that you're not getting?

3. How can I be a better spouse?

Trust

If something has happened in your relationship causing the trust to waiver, you will have many things to work through. When your mate has done something that requires you to forgive, you have to forgive, REALLY forgive. Once you have worked through the issue either together or with professional counseling, and you tell them that you forgive them, you can never hold that over them again. As an example, if your mate has had an affair and the two of you choose to work it out rather than throw the relationship away, once the problems are resolved and the forgiveness is said, it is done! This means that you cannot stalk your mate to ensure they are where they said they would be, call or page them throughout the day, constantly ask for reaffirmation of your relationship, it means that you forgive and put the past behind you and then move on in a new, strong, and healthy relationship. It will not be easy, but you can do it with the right help, attitude, and commitment.

I Forgive You

If something has happened in your relationship causing the trust to waiver, you will have many things to work through. When your mate has done something that requires you to forgive, you have to forgive, REALLY forgive. Once you have worked through the issue either together or with professional counseling, and you tell them that you forgive them, you can never hold that over them again. As an example, if your mate has had an affair and the two of you choose to work it out rather than throw the relationship away, once the problems are resolved and the forgiveness is said, it is done! This means that you cannot stalk your mate to ensure they are where they said they would be, call or page them throughout the day, constantly ask for reaffirmation of your relationship, it means that you forgive and put the past behind you and then move on in a new, strong, and healthy relationship. It will not be easy, but you can do it with the right help, attitude, and commitment.

FRIENDSHIP

We have all heard of people who have not spoken to an old friend or family member for so many years that they have forgotten how the fight started in the first place. When friendships seem impossible to mend, we need more than conflict resolution skills. If you wish you could push a reset button and start all over in one of your friendships, this lesson is for you. Though you cannot change the past, you can make a fresh start. In this lesson you will discover from Scripture how to restore broken friendships.

Starter

1. What are some of the reasons people use to justify holding a grudge against a friend?

2. Why is it so difficult to admit when we are wrong and ask for forgiveness from a friend?

Study

Read the following sets of Bible passages and application notes. Answer the questions for each set before moving on to the next.

Philemon 1:10-11, 17-21

From his prison cell, Paul had led Onesimus to the Lord. Paul then asked Philemon to forgive Onesimus, his runaway slave, and to accept him as a brother. Even though Philemon had the legal right to kill Onesimus, Paul encouraged Philemon to put aside his own rights for the sake of Onesimus, his new brother in Christ. At times, we must also put aside our own rights for the sake of our friends, even when we think we deserve better from them.

3. In light of this story, what responsibility do we have to help our friends be reconciled to others with whom they have had conflicts?

4. When has someone encouraged or helped you restore a broken friendship?

5. What does it take to reestablish trust with someone who has made a major mistake or betrayed you in some way?

6. What can you do if you feel it is impossible to forgive a friend?

Matthew 6:14-15

It is easy to ask God for forgiveness, but it is often difficult to grant it to a friend who has deeply hurt us. But having received forgiveness from God, we should want to pass it on to others. We, however, must rely on the Holy Spirit to help us forgive our friends, even when we may not feel like it or believe they do not deserve it. Remember, forgiveness is more an action than a feeling.

7. What does our unwillingness to forgive a friend reveal about us?

8. How have your disputes with your friends impacted your relationship with God?

9. What is keeping you from offering forgiveness to a friend?

10. How does this passage challenge you to change your attitude or actions?

Proverbs 10:12; 17:9

Scripture encourages us to willingly forgive others who sin against us. Covering over offenses is necessary to any friendship. It is tempting, especially in an argument, to bring up all the mistakes the other person has ever made. A true friend, however, keeps his or her mouth shut - difficult though that may be. Try never to bring anything into an argument that is unrelated to the topic being discussed. As we grow to be like Christ, we will acquire God's ability to forgive and forget the confessed sins of the past.

11. What motivates us to remind our friends of their past mistakes?

12. How do we rationalize bringing up the past when we argue with a friend?

13. Why is it so difficult to forgive and forget?

14. How do you want to respond the next time a friend lets you down?

Summary

All of our friends will let us down - some more than others. But instead of allowing our disappointment to destroy friendships, Scripture tells us to forgive. To bring healing to a broken relationship, you have to lay aside your own rights and resist the temptation to bring up past mistakes. God can help you be a genuine friend - that is, someone who brings love, acceptance, understanding, and forgiveness to friendships. Do not let your disappointment in your friends' shortcomings rob you of their friendship.

15. Which friend are you struggling to forgive right now?

16. In what tangible way could you demonstrate God's love and forgiveness to this friend?

Go On A Date

Especially for married couples, but even for some “dating” couples, start dating. Often people become very comfortable in their relationship and sitting around on the weekends, watching movies is about as exciting as it gets. Ask your mate out. For example, actually call them and ask, “If you do not have any plans for Saturday night, would you like to go to a concert with me?” It is crucial to relationships that they keep the fire alive by enjoying the act of dating. There are many people in long-term, successful marriages that will tell you they go out on dates every week, which has been a huge bonus for their relationship.